Stories


Atmakami......ability or disorder? by story maker

 Chapter-1: Hypothesis
Update-1

Ek baar mere Physics ke professor ne mujhse pucha tha ki “Arman ,how would you relate your life with Physics ?” and I thought the most appropriate answer would be…. “mujhe kya pata , lawda”….lekin us din maine wo nahi kaha tha…us din toh maine kuch aur kaha tha jo kuch yun tha….

“life is like Physics,Sir….Life is hypothesis…I mean doing various kind of things… without assuming that is true…then verify and substantiate by our own experiments and experiences.Life is a self-evident truth to explain our views……. Observations……… towards our well known social rules and responsibility….life is like Physics,sir…simple and beautiful"
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Simple and beautiful….par main kabhi kabhi sochta hoon ki kya main sahi tha…kya sach me life simple aur beautiful hai…mujhe apni zindagi dekhkar toh aisa bilkul nahi lagta…kitni kamal ki baat hai ki jis cheez ko us din main dusaro ko follow karne ke liye kah raha tha uska exception main khud hoon….

“aaj bhi koyi nahi hai”mayoos hokar maine hostel me apne room ko gusse se band kiya aur hostel se bahar ki taraf chal diya

Waise toh main yaha kayi baar aa chuka hoon, bahut kuch chize pahle se thodi badali-badali bhi nazar aati hai lekin mere hostel ke bahar rakhi wo jung lagi kursi aaj bhi wahi rakhi thi,jaha pahle raha karti thi…jaha baithkar hum log udhar se aane-jane wale logo ko pareshan kiya karte the. us chair par baithkar maine apne jeb se cigarette nikala lekin tabhi mujhe yaad aaya ki procedure toh ye nahi hai…procedure ke mutabiq mujhe pahle goggle lagana chahiye phhir cigarette jalani chahiye…isliye maine phle goggle lagaya aur phhir cigarette jalakar gand –fad lamba kash kheecha aur tab tak wahi baitha raha jab tak Arun college se waha nahi aa gaya….

“hey, Arun”use baithne ki jagah dete hue maine kaha

“hey Varun….mera matlab, Arman…. “baithte hue wo bola”sorry, woh flow-flow me Varun ka name nikal gaya”

“koyi mila college me”

“ghanta… pura college sunsaan hai…Esha toh door ki baat hai”bolte hue Arun ne apna sar peechhe tikaya aur aankh band karke baith gaya

“kitna acha lagta hai yaha aakar…hai na Arun…par afsos ki baat hai ki yaha aksar hum dono ke siway aur koyi nahi hota….pata nahi baki log kab aayenge”

“haan…acha toh lagta hai yaha”aankh band karke lambi saans lete hue Arun ne kaha”isiliye tune ise banaya…in sabko…ye hostel…college….sadak….mujhe”

“maine nahi banaya ye sabkuch…main toh khud yaha aksar fas jata hoon…shayad ye meri koyi bimari hai…jo bhi ho…mujhe ye bahut pasand hai. pata nahi main hamesha ke liye yaha kab rah paunga”

“Arman….main haqiqat me yaha nahi hoon aur na hee tu…tujhe college bahut pasand tha….isliye tera dimag tujhe ye sab dikha raha hai, tune mujhe apne dimag ke kisi hisse se nikala aur ab tu try mar raha hai ki Esha bhi yaha aa jaye….lekin Arman, asliyat ye nahi hai….asliyat tere 1400 gram ke dimag ke bahar hai….ab main aur Esha teri zindagi ka hissa nahi hai…tujhe apni zindagi jeeni hogi…lekin aise nahi…ye sab toh ek dhokha hai…kayaro ki tarah apne sach se door bhagna hai…teri college life khatm ho chuki hai. ab tu hostel me nahi rahta aur na hee Esha yaha hai . tujhe ye samajhna hoga….bajay iske ki tu apne andar us chiz ko dhoondh raha hai, jo teri kabhi thi hee nahi…..main hamesha yahi chahta tha ki tu, Esha…se kabhi na mile aur na hee us se baat kare…lekin tune college me kabhi meri nahi suni….lekin ab bhi waqt hai….samay ke antarjaal se nikal aur ek nayi shuruat kar…mera kya hai ,main toh jaha choot dekhta hoon wahi lund daal deta hoon, lekin main tere liye aisa nahi chahta…you deserve better….. than this double F (fucking frustrated) life…Arman ,you know… once you were the best for us…for all of us…but now you are the worst…kya tune kabhi socha hai ki kyun tere baki ke dost…jinhone har chhoti badi ladayi me tera sath diya wo ab tujhse baat bhi kyun nahi karte….aur……………… “

“aur…..?”

Jab Arun beech me bolte hue achanak ruk gaya toh maine uski taraf dekha par wo waha nahi tha..wo waha se jaa chuka tha….yahi toh problem hai is jagah ki….ki wo hamesha aise achanak gayab ho jata hai jaise sala mera dost na ho balki batman ho…..par Arun ka yun achanak gayab hona mere liye ek sanket tha….ki ab yaha mauzood har chiz buri tarah se hilegi....dharti ghumegi aur mere sar me ek tez dard uthega….aur aisa hua bhi.ek tez dard mere sar me utha…dard itna tez tha ki sala laga jaan hee chali jayegi…main jor se chillaya aur chillate hue wahi zameen par gir gaya…par ye mere liye nayi baat nahi thi ye toh pichhale kayi haftoh se mere sath ho raha tha ki achanak main kahi baithe baithe yaha pahuch jata hoon….jaha mujhe Arun milta hai….jisase main do char baate karta hoon aur jab wo achanak gayab ho jata hai toh mere aas-paas mauzood har chiz vibrate karne lagti hai yaha tak ki mera dimagh bhi……yani ki sab kuch sirf mere dimag ke kisi hisse me hota hai aur tab main apne us physics se life ko relate karne wale answer ke bare me sochta hoon jisme maine kaha tha ki …life is simple and beautiful….just like physics.
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“mujhe kya pata ,lawda…..correct answer hota.khamkha dialoguebazi me life ko simple aur beautiful bol gaya…yadi ye simple hai toh complicated kya hoga…”haqiqat me wapas aakar apna sar dabate hue maine kaha...


Ab toh Mujhe aisa lagta hai ,jaise ki main khud ko nahi janta..jaise ki maine ek jaal apne aas-paas bun rakha ho aur badalte waqt ke sath usme fasta hee ja raha hoon..waise toh kahne ko mere paas bahut kuch hai aur use sunne ka samay bhi aapke paas hai lekin mudda jo ye hai ki main iski shuruat kaha se karu…waha se shuru karu jaha se 8th semester khatm hua tha ya phhir waha se jab main ghar chhodkar Nagpur apne dost Varun ke paas aaya…ya phhir waha se jab maine Nagpur me Nisha ko pahli baar dekha…lekin ye sab toh main bata chuka hoon toh kyun na waha se shuru kiya jaye jaha se life ne meri aur maine life ki leni shuru kar di…

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College ke baad ki zindagi aasan nahi hoti aur khaskar tab nahi jab apne meri tarah jhande gade ho…college me maine zindagi ke lagbhag sabhi pahaluo ka anubhav kar liya tha…mera matlab dosti, dushmanni, pyar, dhokha,mutth marna,sex karna…ladayi karna…jail jana wo bhi murder ke case me aur phhir jail se aakar baki bache 10-12 dino me pelam pel padhayi karke 8.5 CGPA se B.Tech complete karna….koyi sochega ki ab life me isse bura kuch nahi ho sakta.lekin mujhe kya pata tha ki wo toh kuch bhi nahi tha..asal zindagi toh ab shuru hui thi…

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Kahne ko toh meri zindagi me ab bhi hariyali thi…I mean…naukari…chhokari…free wifi…ab isse adhik bhala ek Engineer ko kya chahiye ? lekin College chhodne ke baad maine ek chiz jo apne bare me guar ki thi wo ye ki main Depression me tha…main Esha ko left side se pyar karta tha iske bare me toh main janta tha…lekin main ye nahi janta tha ki uske chale jane ke baad ya mere chale jane ke baad main aisa ho jaunga….ek ajab hi gussa…ek ajeeb si kabhi na mitne wali udasi ne mujhe grasit kar diya tha,jiske karan jab kabhi bhi main Nisha ke sath hota tab bhi mere dil-o-dimag me Esha hee chhayi rahti thi aur kabhi-kabhi toh gusse se dil karta tha ki ek lohe ka sariya loon aur jakar Nisha ke sath uske pure khandan ko khatm kar doon…I mean…Esha..BC Nisha aur Esha ke chakkar me main jitna confuse hua hoon utna toh main Centroid aur Center of Gravity , term me bhi nahi hua tha…

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Par problem ye nahi thi…problem ye thi ki main in sabke bare me subah 4 baje uthkar kyu soch raha hoon aur main problem ye thi ki yadi main abhi utha hoon toh phhir is waqt mujhe apne flat me hona chahiye…jo ki main nahi tha….main toh is waqt apne colony ke park me deewar se koodkar uske andar ghas par baitha daru pee raha tha…Thug Life !  lekin main in sabke bare me kyun bata raha hoon toh jawab hai…jaisa ki maine pahle hi kaha hai ki waise toh kahne ko mere paas bahut kuch hai aur aapke paas use sunne ka samay bhi hai…so let’s start it.


UPDATE-2

“you know…I just hate everyone…everyone…fucking everyone…I hate Varun…Nisha…her father…her mother….her security guard….her lesbo partner Sonam(who’s also Varun’s girlfriend)…I hate every man and woman……yes ! I hate the whole mannkind…I’m the guy who’s fucking frustrated…You know my friend, there is a special word in dictionary for me, who hates mannkind…I don’t know it now but I’ll tell you later or you can see it for yourself”kahte hue maine mere bagal me baithe apne naye dost ki aankho me dekha
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Jaise main use dekh raha tha waisich same toh same wo bhi meri aankho me dekh raha tha aur main samajh gaya ki lawda use kya chahiye… main samajh gaya ki use meri in baton me koyi dilchaspi nahi hai, wo toh lawda yaha subah ke 4 baje uthkar isliye aaya hai kyuki use free ka chakna jo khane ko milta hai….

“meet my new friend…Bisleri….”

jo ki humare colony me ghumne wala ek awara kutta hai aur isse meri pahchan kal raat isi park me hui thi….kal raat bole toh kal subah matlab kal subah 4 baje ke karib...maine chips ke packet me se kuch chips apne muh me dala aur kuch Bisleri ke muh me aur phhir pura peg ek saans me andar le liya……
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“hat MC…pani kam ho gaya”kahte hue main ek bar phhir Bisleri ki taraf dekha…wo meri taraf hi dekh raha tha.jiske baad maine packet me bacha baki chips bhi uske samne udel diya aur daru ki bottle uske muh me fasate hue bola “daru ki botal sambhal kar rakhna be ,nahi toh chodunga….ye botal tere liye mere pyar ki nishani hai…”
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Nisha ke mere zindagi me aane ke kuch samay baad mujhe laga tha ki jaise ab sab kuch thik ho gaya hai aur wakayi me aisa hua bhi tha…kyuki mere dimag me ab kabhi bhi tez dard nahi hota tha aur na hee mere mare hue dost ke mujhe sapne aate the…yaha tak ki Aradhna se bhi lagbhag-lagbhag pichha chhoot gaya tha. Lekin aajkal Nisha mujhe kuch khas bha nahi rahi thi…lekin iska matlab ye nahi hai ki wo ab mujhe khoobsurat…hot ya sexy nahi lagti…uske liye meri feelings same hai lekin aajkal main us-se chidhne laga hoon….pata nahi kyun ? aur aisa mere sath ek baar pahle bhi hua tha…aisich same feeling mere andar Aradhna ke liye bhi aayi thi jiske baad maine suddenly us-se breakup kiya tha aur usne zindagi se…
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“Arman, tum…itni subah…”ek ladki ne mera name lete hue kaha

“haan…waise aap kaun…aur itni subah se kya matlab hai tumhara…ab toh dopahar hone ko aa gayi hai ”

“main Nisha ki friend…itni jaldi bhool gaye…kal raat ko hum sab movie dekhne gaye the…”mayoos hote hue wo boli aur isi ke sath uske sath me khadi uski saheli bhi mayoos ho gayi…
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“haan…yaad aaya Shipra…waise kaun si Shipra ho tum…Kshipra wali ya simple Shipra….”

“simple Shipra…”haste hue usne jawab diya

“tumhe kaise bhool sakta hoon main…tu hee hai na wo jo kal raat me 500  ka sirf popcorn kha gayi thi…sach bata ghar me khana-vana nahi milta kya …ya ye teri aadat hee hai ki dusaro ke paiso pe aish karna…apne boyfriend ko toh gatak gayi hogi tu ab tak…mera kahne ka matlab hai ki kuch toh sharam lihaj kiya kar…ab apni saheli ko hee dekh le kab se line mare ja rahi hai mujhe…mana ki bahut smart ,handsome…intelligent hoon main lekin iska matlab ye toh nahi ki jis thali me khaya usi ko chura loge…chottiyo…ruk abhi Nisha ko call karke batata hoon ki tum dono ne mujhe propose mara hai….arey bhag kaha rahi hai ruk…..”
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“aajkal ki ladkiya bhi na ,hath pakdao toh lund pakad leti hai…i…i..just hate everyone…waise time kya hua hai…Suraj uncle toh kab ka dastak de chuke hai…”kahte hue maine apni ghadi me time dekha “oh teri ! 8 baj gaye…aur apun ab tak ghum rela hai…”

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Apne room par main subah 9 baje pahucha aur pahuchte hee Varun se pucha ki uska sabse jhakkas formal dress kaha hai lekin Varun ko bhi mujhse kuch puchna tha isliye usne mere sawal pe sawal daga aur bola…

“tu tha kaha be raat bhar….”

“aa raat bhar…aa raat bhar…jaye na ghar….jaye na ghar”jawab me main chair par baitha aur mobile nikalte hue gungunane laga

“BC, 4 missed calls…ye Nisha puri yedi ho gayi hai….janti hai ki main us type ka launda nahi hoon,jo raat bhar apni item se baat kare…lekin phhir bhi har din…I mean..har raat ko pachaso bar phone karegi…lavda main seedha sadha aadmi hoon jiski sirf seedhi sadhi demand hai…thoda sa pyar aur bahut sara sex…lekin nahi inko toh dono chiz hee pel ke chahiye…ab kaha se laun itna pyar jab mere andar hai hee nahi,toh…aur beta Varun…ye Nisha ki friend jo Sonam hai na jiske sath tera chakkar chal raha hai us-se thoda bach ke rahiyo…mujhe toh shakal se hee ek number ki chudail-dayan lagti hai…zara sambhal kar rahna kahi teri bali na de de….”

“kya be Arman ,kuch bhi bole ja raha hai tu Nisha aur Sonam ke bare me…dono kitni achi ladkiya hai…tu zaroor daru peekar aaya hai…warna tu aisa nahi bolta”apni aankhe badi karte hue Varun ne mujhe chup hone ka ishara kiya lekin maine apni baat continue ki…

“dekh bhai ,aisa hai …mujhe sach bolne ke liye daru ki zaroorat nahi…waise Sonam se yaad aaya…sale kal raat bhar tere karan main bahar raha…tune toh bade aram se raat ke 10 baje call karke kah diya ki Arman ek ghante ke liye room se chale ja…Sonam ke sath fukam-fakayi karni hai….”
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“toh phhir ek ghante baad aa jana chahiye tha na...aur thoda dheere bol”


“lawda aa jana chahiye tha…ab main thahra sanyasi aadmi jaha do botal daru, do packet chakna aur do cigarette ke sath do kadam zameen mili…bas wahi apni duniya…khair tu bata choda ki nahi….”

Main aur bhi bahut kuch Varun se puchta…aur bhi bahut kuch Varun ko apne adventurous last night ke bare me batata…lekin tabhich ek jordar aawaz mere kano me padi…jise sunke meri to fati hee…par Varun ki to fat ke hath me aa gayi…wo aawaz jisne hum dono ki fad di thi wo aawaz Sonam ki girlfriend Varun….mera matlab Varun ki girlfriend Sonam ki aawaz thi…

“are you guys fucking kidding me….”

“no…but According to Shri Arman’s law… the total anger emitted per unit time by Sonam is directly proportional to the fourth power of our fear….”calculation karte hue main sirf itna hee bol paya…

“Varun…tumhe to main baad me siddha karti hoon…lekin Arman tumne abhi jo kuch bhi mere aur Nisha ke bare me kaha hai…wo main ek-ek shabd jakar Nisha ko batane wali hoon…asshole”itna kahkar Sonam to waha se khisak li lekin hum dono bhari tension me aa gaye….tension kya,mujhe to aisa laga jaise kisi ne meri lulli hee kat li ho…

“Varun…that’s why, I hate everyone….aakhir freedom of speech bhi koyi chiz hai ki nahi is desh me….aakhir log sanvidhan ka palan kyun nahi karte  ”
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Maine Nisha aur Sonam ke bare me jo uche vichar thodi der pahle vyakt kiye the us-se jyada tension mujhe honi chahiye thi aur Varun ko shanti se baith kar shantipath karna chahiye tha…lekin aisa bilkul nahi ho raha tha…Varun tension me pure flat me ghoom raha tha aur idhar main aaram se baith kar aaram kar raha tha….

“Goldflake Lite is better…”cigarette ke dhue ka chhalla banate hue maine kaha “abey try to mar”

“Arman…what the….”kheej kar Varun bolte-bolte ruk gaya..

“what the hell or what the fuck ? anyway, what does that ASSHOLE term even mean….Gand ka ched…? ye kaisi gali hai be…”

“tu kabhi kabhi bahut over ho jata hai be Arman…ab phhir se Sonam ko manane me kayi din lag jayenge…”

“dekh bidu…wo sab apun dekh lega…lekin abhi mujhe interview ke liye jana hai, isliye ye sab baate baad me…”

“interview..”shocked hote hue Varun ne puchha “kaha…”

“Machine ke parts design karne wali ek company hai ,wahi maine resume dala tha…”bachi kuchi cigarette ko ungali me fasakar dustbin me nishana sadhte hue main bola “aur unhone resume accept kar liya… goal…”

“congrats…toh finally tu serious hone laga hai…par dekhna kahi pichhali wali company ki tarah ye bhi tujhe bahar na fek de…be careful”

“hmm…uh”

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Interview dene main full taiyar hokar aur full taiyari ke sath gaya tha, actually mujhe lagbhag wo sabhi question pahle se hee maloom the jo wo waha puchhane wale the ,jiske liye jawab bhi maine soch rakha tha….Interview dene main time se decided venue me pahucha lekin mujhe waha kafi samay tak baitha kar rakha gaya…maine ek do baar waha baithi receptionist se puchha bhi ki ‘aur kitna time lagega’..jispar wo pahli baar to kuch nahi boli lekin mere ek aur baar puchhane par wo thoda muh banate hue boli ki
“yadi itni hee jaldi hai toh kahi aur chale jao”

Jispar maine kuch nahi kaha aur chupchap aakar jaha baithkar usne mujhe wait karne ke liye kaha tha,wahi baith kar wait karne laga….main kafi der tak waha baitha raha taqriban do ghante…nahi dhayi ghante…actually teen ghante…confirm, dhayi ghante….jiska reason ye tha ki jise mera interview lena tha wo aaya hee nahi tha……

“oh mister, mobile baad me chalana….andar jao interview ke liye…”dhayi ghante baad usi Receptionist ne mujhe aawaz dekar kaha

“BC , kitna akad rahi hai…naukari ka sawal hai, nahi to ek mukka marta to ek mahine tak dard me rahti….koyi kadra hee nahi hai, tu rook….naukari lagne de….phhir tujhe sudharunga….”Receptionist ko dekhkar main badbadaya aur sath me use thank you bhi bola….
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“I just hate everyone…”interview dene ke baad main jaise hee bahar nikla waise hee mere muh se ye line apne aap nikli…lekin kyun ? interviewer to achche the , mera interview bhi achcha gaya tha…late hone par unhone mujhe cold drink , tea , coffee ka bhi offer diya tha….phhir maine aisa kyun bola ? yes …I got it…I hate the whole mankind.
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“hello,Arman…”

“nahi ,main Arman ka papa bol raha hoon, aap kaun beta…”aawaz badalkar main bola…

“Good evening uncle, Main…Main Nisha…”thoda hichkichate hue Nisha boli…shayad wo bhi thoda soch me pad gayi thi ke mere papa kaha se Nagpur aa gaye…

“acha to tum wahi Nisha ho…jo maal dikhti aur jiske boobs…ahhhh….wait,I’m cumming….”mere itna bolte hee Nisha ne phone kat diya lekin uske turant baad usne mujhe dobara call bhi kiya….

“Arman…church ke paas wale park me abhi milo…”

“mera intezar karna….I’m cumming”kahte hue maine mobile ektaraf feka aur wapas Varun ka formal dress pahan-ne laga…jo ki room me aakar maine utar diya tha…room ke gate se maine park tak ka trajectory set kiya aur khud ko apne room se launch kar diya…lekin main park me land karta uske pahle hee mujhe yaad aaya ki main condom toh room me hee bhool gaya hoon…isliye main trajectory ko reverse mode me dalkar…wapas room par pahucha aur condoms ka packet uthaya kya pata kab zaroorat pad jaye…condoms ki…

“Arman…logo ki kadra karna sikh ja…khas kar ke unki jo teri karte hai…mera matlab hai ki tujhe kya zaroorat hai Nisha se aise baat karne ki…use dekh kitni rich hai..kitni pretty hai…lekin maine is baat ka zara sa bhi ghamannd uske andar nahi dekha….i’m sorry lekin yadi wo chahe to tere jaise kayiyo ko har din badal sakti hai…”condom ka packet lekar main nikal raha tha ki Varun ne mujhe tokte hue kaha

“one correcton please….mere jaise kayiyo ko nahi…main antique piece hoon…”Varun ki taraf palatkar main bola”aur sale din ba din mota hota ja raha hai tu…tu uski fikar kar…meri fikar mere pe chhod de…happy”

“tu pahle aisa nahi tha…mana ki tere sath kuch bura hua hai ,kuch bure log tujhe mile hai…lekin doodh ka dhula toh tu bhi nahi hai…galti to teri bhi thi…par iska matlab ye to nahi ki tu aane wale achche logo aur unki achchhayio ki kadra hee na kare…”

“ toh yadi aapka ye lecture samapt ho gaya ho to main prasthan karu…kyunki tere anusar jiski mujhe kadra karni chahiye wo park me baithi mera intezar kar rahi hai aur yadi Shri Varun ki izazat ho to main uski kadra karne jaun….”

“gand marao lawda, mujhe kya…”

“exactly….”kahte hue maine goggle lagaya aur cigarette muh me ek side dabakar ek selfie li aur room se wapas park tak ka trajectory set karke khud ko launch kiya
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“bahut jaldi nahi aa gaye”park me mere land karte hee hee Nisha taana marte hue boli aur maine do ungali apne hontho par rakhkar ishara kiya ki main cigarette pee raha tha….

“aaj tumne meri friend Shipra ko kya bola”mudde pe aate hue Nisha ne pucha..

“chal pahle thoda udhar khisak…phhir batata hoon..air friction bahut jyada tha…Kurkure sir..mera matlab Kurre sir sahi kahe the ki..aap physics ke khilaf nahi ja sakte”

“kyun idhar baithne me kya problem hai…”

“problem to mujhe teri god me bhi baithne se nahi hai..lekin iska matlab ye to nahi ki main tere god me hee baith jaun…Got it…ab chal khisak…khisak na…hadd hai…tujhe kya lagta hai ki main us side baithkar badminton khelne wali un ladkiyo ko line marunga…”

“to thik hai ,mat khisak…mujhe kya, main kal aake line mar jaunga…”

“aaj tumne meri friend Shipra ko kya bola”wapas mudde pe aate hue Nisha ne pucha..

“kaun Shipra…acha wo…..Varun ki item…ya wo item jiske paas koyi item hee nahi hai”

“ye item-item kya laga rakha hai…Arman…aisi cheap language ka istemal tum kyun karte ho, ye jante hue bhi ki mujhe aisi language pasand nahi aur jab wo meri friend ho tab to bilkul bhi hai…humari society me iske liye ek special word hai...Girlfriend….tum Shipra ko wo to kah hee sakte ho…maine kya tumhare kisi dost ko kabhi kameena…kutta kaha…nahi na…phhir tum mere friends ke liye aise words kyun istemal karte ho…aur waise bhi Shipra , Varun ki item nahi….”bolte-bolte Nisha achanak ruk gayi , kyunki josh-josh me uske muh se bhi item shabd nikal gaya tha aur main rakshasi hasi ke sath daant fadne laga

“ha…ha….ha….”


Chapter-2 : Tempus Itinerantur

“mera matlab tha ki Shipra,Varun ki girlfriend nahi hai…Varun ki girlfriend to Sonam hai…Shipra to wo hai jo aaj subah tumhe mili thi aur tumne use kaha tha ki wo 500  ka popcorn kha gayi thi, iske baad tumne uske sath badtameezi bhi ki aur bola ki wo tumhe line de rahi hai…vagerah-vagerah….”

“vagerah-vagerah…matlab etc. etc.”

“haan”

“wahi na jo hum answer likhte samay use karte hai…”

“haan  ”

“waise sach batau…actually I don’t remember her…mujhe lag toh raha hai ki koyi mujhse mila tha..lekin kaun ye mujhe thik se yaad nahi hai”

“really…”

“teri kasam…”

Aur phhir mere itna bolte hee Nisha ne apna chehra dusari taraf kar liya aur bahut der tak chup baithi kuch sochati rahi…

“aur Sonam se tumne kya kaha…ki…main pagal hoon , jo tumhe raat-raat bhar phone karte rahti hoon…tumne Sonam se kaha ki main yedi hoon…ye yedi kya hota hai…”

“yedi matlab…matlab…innocent…intelligent aur Sonam se maine aisa kuch bhi nahi kaha…phhir se teri kasam…”

“tumne mujhe pagal samajh rakha hai kya…”apne hath me rakha mobile gusse se door fekte hue Nisha boli “tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai ,jo har baar meri jhoothi kasam kha rahe ho…tumhe kya lagta hai ki…ki main bewkoof hoon…jise tum kuch bhi bologe aur main maan jaungi…”

“teri kasam…sorry..abki baar meri kasam …yadi dekha jaye toh technically,maine Sonam se kuch nahi bola….wo toh maine apne dost Varun se bola tha…jise phhir Sonam ne sun liya tha…ab bol jhootha kaun…”

“par tumne to mere bare me aakhir wo sab kaha na….”

“actually wo ek prank tha…jo main aur Varun milkar Sonam ke sath kar rahe the..prank matlab ,hum ek funny video bana rahe the…jisme hum Sonam ka reaction record kar rahe the….”Nisha ke mobile ko uthakar maine use dete hue kaha “ab ye mat kahna ki tu mujhse yaha sirf isliye milne aayi thi kyunki tujhe Sonam ne mere bare me kuch kaha tha…”

“sach kahu to haan…main yaha sirf isiliye tumse milne aayi thi…teri kasam…”

“tumne just abhi abhi mera dil tod diya…”

“toh…”

“toh…jab tumne sach kaha hai to main bhi sach bol hee deta hoon…wo prank nahi tha…wo sabkuch jo Sonam ne tumse kaha uski ek-ek line …ek-ek shabd yaha tak ki ek-ek matra sach thi…main tujhse aur tere phone calls se trast ho gaya hoon…aur ek baat, Shri Arman ko tujh jaisi ladki nahi samajh sakti…tum logo ka level hee nahi hai mere sath rahne ka…tum log bas gaal aur hoth pichka-kar selfie lo….i..i… I just hate everyone…I hate Bhipra…sorry Shipra…I hate Sonam…I hate your parents….i hate you….tum log please kahi chale jao…please…chale jao…kahi bhi…Delhi…Mumbai…Chennai…uganda…”

“okay…Arman…Goodbye…”itna bolkar Nisha uthi aur waha se jane lagi….

“just getlost…mujhe kisi ki zaroorat nahi hai…main akele hee ye story hit kara sakta hoon”apna sar dono hatho se dabate hue main bola“MC ye sar kyun itna dukh raha hai…”

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Aur phhir mujhe kuch aawaze sunayi dene lagi,jo waha aas-paas ki bilkul nahi thi…mere hath-pair achanak se sunn hone lage aur dhundhale se kuch chitra ya phhir kahe ki drishya mere samne aane lage…meri aankh puri tarah khuli nahi thi aur na hee puri tarah band thi…lekin phhir bhi mujhe samne park ka kuch bhi dikhai nahi de raha tha…jaise ki kisi ne achanak hee park ko gayab kar diya ho…pahle pahal to mujhe laga ki ye ek sapna hai lekin phhir mujhe ye ahsaas hua ki ye koyi sapna nahi balki ek haqiqat hai…jiska andaza mujhe tab laga jab maine us drishya me apne bade bhai ko dekha…par wo drishya ek sapna nahi balki haqiqat hai iska andaza mujhe tab hua jab maine khud ko us drishya ke andar dekha…par ye kaise mumkin hai ? main to yaha sabke samne park me baitha hoon phhir main waha kaise ho sakta hoon…main janta hoon ki main greatest hoon lekin ek sath do jagah par hona…ye mere liye possible nahi hai…darasal ye drishya jo mere sar me uthe dard ke karan dikhayi de raha hai wo mere past ki kuch haqiqat hai jinhe maine shayad hee kisi ko bataya ho…shayad bole to 100 % confirm….that’s Arman’s language

.
Meri, mere bhai ke sath kabhi bhi nahi jami..na hee bachpan me aur na hee ab…hum aksar kayi chizo ke liye ladte the…par phhir aap sochenge ki isme kaun si nayi baat hai,lawda…… ye to har kahani ka ghar hai, I mean…ye toh har ghar ki kahani hai…lekin nahi ye har ghar ki kahani nahi hai ye thoda alag aur thoda dangerous hai…thoda se mera matlab hai…bahut jyada.you know ….its apun’s language.

.
“Arman jita de bhai yar,izzat ka sawal hai…”

“izzat…? iski parwah mere dosto ke samne mujhe marne se pahle karna chahiye tha…”

“dekh 200  ka match hai…main tujhe 500 dunga…”

“khoon ke badle khoon aur bezzati ke badle bezzati…”kahte hue main aage badha aur puri taqat ke sath cover ki disha me bat ghuma diya aur phhir peeche palat kar apne bhai ko angootha dikhaya….waise ch aur dikhane ka tha par Bhai tha isliye sirf angootha hee dikhaya


Shot khelne ke baad maine yahi socha tha ki ball ab boundary par jakar hee dum legi lekin ball ek ped se takrayi aur wahi rook gayi,tab non-striker end me khade mere dost ne mujhe aawaz di aur humne bhagkar jaldi se 2 runs le liye….aur itne hee run hume jeetne ke liye chahiye the….match jeetne ke baad maine ek baar phhir Vipin bhaiya ko angootha dikhaya aur wo sirf apna daant piskar rah gaye,unka bas chalta toh wo mujhe wahi patak-patak kar marte…lekin us samay unki girlfriend apni kuch saheliyo ke sath waha thi aur kuch dusare log bhi the ,jo waha match dekh rahe the…jiske karan Vipin bhaiya ne apna gussa apne andar hee daba liya…

Waha match dekhne walo ke liye ye sirf ek team ke player dwara opponent team ke player ko tease karna tha ,lekin hum dono ke liye ye kuch jyada tha…jaha India me cricket har dharm ke logo ko jodta hai wahi cricket ne hum dono bhaiyo me darar dalni shuru kar di thi…

Meri ek aadat hamesha se thi ki jab main kisi ka Mazak udata hoon to marte dum tak uska Mazak udata hoon…toh phhir isme main apne bhai ko kaise chhod sakta tha…jaha Vipin bhaiya ke andar match harne ka gussa tha wahi ghar par mere indirectly comments ne unka gussa aur badha diya….

“Maa…humare school ka ek senior hai..pata nahi khud ko kya samajhta hai…kal usne mere dosto ke samne meri utari aur aaj maine…bada aaya tha,role jamanne…Maa ,pata hai.. kaise match ke aakhiri kshado me wo aaj mere samne gidgida raha tha…”bolte hue main ruka aur Vipin bhaiya ki aawaz behude tarike se nikalte hue bola “Arman,match jeeta de bhai yar, izzat ka sawal hai…dekh match 200  ka hai main tujhe 500  dunga…please bhai …maan ja yar…”

“Arman…ab bas kar, bahut pareshan kar liya tune Vipin ko…”Kitchen se Maa boli
Lekin main kaha rukne wala tha…maine Vipin bhaiya ki khilli udani jari rakhi….

“mom…pata hai..aaj match dekhne kaun aaya tha….”

“Arman ,yadi tune Aksha ka naam bhi liya toh soch lena…patak-patak ke marunga….”dheemi aawaz me Vipin bhai saab bole

“ab pata chala kaisa lagta hai…jaleel hona…remember , bezzati ke badle bezzati…”maine bhi dheemi aawaz me kaha

“ab yadi tune ek aur shabd bola toh….ye taala jo chair par rakha hai…seedhe fek ke marunga…”kahte hue Vipin bhaiya ne chair par rakha taala utha liya….

Par mujhe pata tha ki Vipin bhaiya kabhi bhi wo taala mujhpar nahi fekenge …mujhe kya,waha meri jagah aur bhi koyi hota toh wo wahi sochta…isliye maine apna karyakram jaari rakha aur Maa se kaha…

“Maa, jo aaj ke match ka special guest tha…uska naam Aks ….”

Pahle toh mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki kya hua , main aise kaise Aksha ka naam lete hue rook gaya…lekin jab mere mathe se khoon tapak kar neeche aaya toh mujhe pata chala ki Vipin bhaiya ke hath me jo taala tha….wo seedhe aakar mere sar me laga tha….main is waqt jitney gusse me tha us-se jyada kahi hairan tha ki Vipin bhaiya ne aakhir ye kar kaise diya…

“chup ho ja…Arman , warna…sale, patak-patak ke marunga….”

“ab toh seedhe jakar…Aksha ke baap ko bataunga,phhir dekhna kaise uska baap uske andar se ishq ka bhoot utarta hain….”

“sale tameej nahi hai kya…baat karne ki…”mere paas aakar Vipin bhaiya ne ek mukka aur mere mathe pe jad diya aur dusara mukka uthane hee wale the ki maine unhe peeche dhakel diya....jisase unka pair wahi paas rakhi table se ladkhadaya aur wo apna balance khokar seedhe sar ke bal zameen pe ja gire…
Maine bahut tej dhakka diya tha..jiske karan Vipin bhaiya bahut teji ke sath gire the…physics ki language me bole toh impact kafi jyada tha…isliye Vipin bhaiya jaise hee zameen par gire unke sar ke pichhale hisse se khoon nikalne laga yani ki unka bhi sar phoot gaya tha….Vipin bhaiya ke sar se khoon nikalta dekh maine aav na dekha taav…aur ghar se bahar bhag gaya…..

.
.
“Arman…uth…itni raat ko park me kya kar raha hai …”mujhe hilate hue Varun bola

“Varun tu…”

“haan…chal room chal…”

“ghar nahi jaunga main…Vipin bhaiya se meri ladayi ho gayi hai…maine unka sar fod diya hai….ab ghar jaunga to mammi-papa bahut marenge….”Varun ki taraf dekhkar maine jawab diya…jiske baad Varun kuch der tak mujhe ektak aise dekhta raha….jaise maine use hath me apna lund thama diya ho…I mean.. full shoked

“Arman , ya toh tu pagal ho gaya hai ya tu mujhe pagal bana raha hai…abey tu yaha hai…Nagpur me…bhool gaya kya ki tu ek saal pahle ghar chhodkar yaha aaya tha mere paas….”mujhe pakad kar uthate hue Varun ne kaha “tu chal…room .daru piyega toh sab kuch yaad aa jayega…”

“tune mujhe dhoondha kaise…”

“tera number off aa raha tha toh Nisha ko call kiya tha maine…usi ne bataya ki tu yaha hai…le us-se baat kar le…pareshan hai bahut…”Nisha ko call lagakar mobile mere hath me dekar Varun bola

“kaun Nisha…”

Jiske baad ek baar phhir Varun mujhe aise dekhne laga jaise maine apna lund uske hath me de diya ho…yani ki full hairan…pareshan…aur abki baar Varun ko meri taraf aise dekh main samajh gaya ki…main hee kuch gadbad kar raha hoon…warna Varun mujhe aise gusse se nahi dekhta…maine apnai aankhe band ki aur jor se apna sar hilaya….

“Nisha…..Nisha…Ni+Sha….Ni= Nickel…S= Sulphur…acha Nisha…Desai ji ki laundi…abey use kyun call karwa raha hai…thodi der pahle tu yaha rahta toh dekhta kaise bhav kha rahi thi…goodbye bolkar gayi mere ko…ek baat bolu Varun…mujhe lagta hai ki wo na koyi kala jadu karti hai…dekhta nahi kaise ajeeb bartaav karne laga hoon main aajkal…tu naa…us-se baat-vaat mat kiya kar….”kahte hue maine call disconnect kar di…. “acha ye bata…mera mail check kiya kya…interview ka result aa gaya hoga…”

.
Maine park se room tak ka trajectory set kiya lekin phhir laga ki Varun udte waqt air friction nahi jhel payega…isliye maine trajectory cancel ki aur aisich paidal hee room ki taraf chalne laga…room jate waqt sadak par mujhe Bisleri dikhayi diya,jo ki apne kuch dosto ke sath race laga raha tha….Bisleri ko samne se apni taraf daudta dekh main ekdum se uske samne aa gaya aur use rok liya…

“kyun be lawde…kaha ghoom raha hai…in awara kutto ke sath…”Bisleri ka kaan pakad kar main bola…jiske jawab me Bisleri ku-ku karke kikiyane laga…wo kabhi apni jeebh nikal kar apna muh chat-ta toh kabhi apni pooch hilate hue kikiyata …jisase main samajh gaya ki lawda use meri baton me koyi dilchaspi nahi hai…use toh bas chakna chahiye….

“sale kutte tak matlabi hai…that’s why I hate everyone…”Bisleri ka kaan pakad kar ghumate hue bola “Varun yadi tu bole toh…”

“nahi…”beech me hee meri baat katkar Varun ne kaha

“sun toh le…”

“bilkul nahi…tu chahta hai ki main is kutte ko apne sath lekar chalu…apne room me rahne du…toh mera jawab hai nahi…bilkul nahi…”

“ek aur baar soch kar dekh…”

“bola na nahi…BC kitna ganda hai ye…muh dekh lagta hai abhi-abhi kisi nali me muh marker aaya hai…aur tu thoda door rah is-se…iske daant kitne bade-bade hai…kaat lega tujhe…”

“ye mujhe nahi kaatega…”

“kyun”

“aakhir isne mera daru piya hai………..aur chakna bhi…”

“dekh Arman…tujhe chalna hai toh chal…ise toh main apne sath nahi le jane wala…”

“khali laundiyo par pyar dikhao tum log…chhote log  chal Bisleri…tu nikal ab…4 baje milte hai park me…”

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Bisleri se vida lekar main room pahucha aur room jaate hee sabse pahle mootne gaya….
“maja aa gaya baincho…bahut der se lagi thi…”bathroom se bahar aate hue main khud se bola aur apna mail check kiya….

“tumhari maa ka 9.8, isiliye main kahi aaply nahi karta…

Posted on: 07:35:AM 02-Apr-2021


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